Desperate JD Vance Rebrands Himself by Converting to Islam
Franco Origlia/Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Desperate to rebrand himself after Tuesday’s Republican wipeout, on Thursday JD Vance revealed that he has converted to Islam. Read more
Mike Johnson Begs God to Rapture Him Immediately
Alex Wong/Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the aftermath of the Republicans’ catastrophic rout in the midterm elections, on Wednesday morning House Speaker Mike Johnson begged God to “rapture him up” immediately.…
Breaking News From TBR Decision Desk
TBR EXCLUSIVE—The following are breaking news headlines from The Borowitz Report’s 2026 Decision Desk: Read more
TBR Election Day Cartoon Special!
As you await the results, uncork the Cabernet, pop those edibles, and enjoy these Election Day cartoons from TBR’s roster of superstar cartoonists! Read more
Democrats Urge Haley Stevens to Endorse Republicans in Every Other State
Dominic Gwinn/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping for a last-minute boost to their midterm campaigns, on Monday Democrats across the US beseeched Rep. Haley Stevens to endorse their Republican opponents.…
John Fetterman Cedes Title of Most-Despised Democrat to Haley Stevens
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Stating philosophically that he “had a good run,” on Sunday Senator John Fetterman ceded the title of most-despised Democrat to Rep. Haley Stevens. Read more
A Very Nixon Halloween
The Richard Nixon Foundation When you’re living in the dystopian hellscape of 2026, the monsters of Halloween provide a welcome escape. Vampires, werewolves, and mummies are infinitely less alarming than Stephen Miller. With that in mind,…
TBR Halloween Cartoon!
From New Yorker legend Tom Toro, a spooktacular zombie cartoon to get you in the Halloween spirit: Read more
Trump: Vote for the Cheesecake Factory and Jon Husted’s Ass
With just 5 days until the election, Donald Trump has made his closing argument: Democrats are far-left lunatics who hate The Cheesecake Factory—and Jon Husted has an amazing ass. I discuss this intriguing strategy and make some midterm predictions…
Bolsonaro Accidentally Arrested by ICE Minutes After Arriving from Brazil
Ricardo Arduengo / AFP via Getty Images MIAMI (The Borowitz Report)— In an embarrassing misstep for the Department of Homeland Security, on Wednesday the failed Brazilian presidential candidate Flávio Bolsonaro was arrested by ICE agents just…