Real Brian Thompson Assassin Having a Fucking Field Day Right Now
NEW YORK — Elliott Brock, the man who shot UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson and then allowed beloved dreamboat Luigi Mangione to take the fall, was reportedly over-the-moon excited by the news that Mangione has pleaded guilty and therefore secured his…
Opinion: Obsession Presents an Unrealistic Standard of How Many People Work at a Music Store
Curry Barker’s 2026 breakout hit Obsession has become an unmitigated Hollywood success story. Produced independently on a shoestring budget, the film has gone on to become one of the most popular horror films of the year. However, with its runaway…
Artist Profile: Phoebe Bridgers
Singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers has released Lost Weekend, her third studio album. Here’s everything you need to know about the artist. Genre: Bummed out in H&M Biggest Influence: SNOOZ Pro Original Smart White Noise Machine Often Compared To:…
Former Bangladeshi Leader To Return From Exile Despite Death Sentence
Former Bangladeshi Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina, who was convicted of crimes against humanity for ordering the killing of protesters in 2024, vowed to return to the country despite facing a death sentence, claiming it was her duty. What do you think?…
Ms. Taylor and the Mailman
Apparently the main character’s mom and the quirky mailman are married now even though we never saw them interact this whole movie. The post Ms. Taylor and the Mailman appeared first on The Onion.
Cheryl Hines Walks In On RFK Jr. Vivisecting Self Again
WASHINGTON—Coming to an abrupt halt in the bedroom doorway and staring in surprise at her husband’s exposed entrails, actress Cheryl Hines reportedly walked in Tuesday on Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. vivisecting himself…
Trump Downplays Significance Of Trump Tower Found On Epstein Island
WASHINGTON—Dismissing news of the 70-story skyscraper as a “hit job” manufactured by the mainstream media, President Donald Trump downplayed Thursday the significance of a Trump Tower found on Little St. James, the island once owned by the late child…
TBR’s Week in Photos
New Trump Airlines Offers Decoy Flights For Adventurous Travelers Giorgio Viera / AFP via Getty Images George Santos Named New White House Press Secretary Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images Catering Truck Loaded With Chicken The Borowitz…
No One Translated To Foreign Players Why They Currently In Cornfield
The post No One Translated To Foreign Players Why They Currently In Cornfield appeared first on The Onion.
Karoline Leavitt Slams Toddler Son Over Baseless Accusations That Caterpillar Very Hungry
WASHINGTON—Blasting the 2-year-old’s incessant lying to the American people, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt on Thursday slammed her toddler son over baseless accusations that the caterpillar was very hungry. “Time and time…