Breaking News From TBR Decision Desk November 3, 2026 TBR EXCLUSIVE—The following are breaking news headlines from The Borowitz Report’s 2026 Decision Desk: Read more
Satire - The Onion Chili’s Customers Suffer Burns From Drinking Margaritas Made With Cleaning Agent By Syndicator November 3, 2026
Satire - The Onion Polls Close Early As Reward For Everyone’s Hard Work By Syndicator November 3, 2026
Satire - The Onion Steve Kornacki Crushes Millions Of Tiny Voters While Sliding Hand Across Electoral Map By Syndicator November 3, 2026
Satire - The Onion GOP Sees Surge In Turnout From First-Time Voter Intimidators By Syndicator November 3, 2026
Satire - The Onion Neglectful Voter Forced To Fill Out 6 Years’ Worth Of Back Ballots By Syndicator November 3, 2026
