What To Know About ‘One Night Only’
One Night Only opens in theaters this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film. Q: What’s the premise? A: In a dystopian alternate reality, dating is sorta awkward and hard to navigate. Q: Who are the leads? A: Two attractive…
Oprah Announces Closure Of School For Girls In Africa
Oprah Winfrey announced that the school she founded for underprivileged girls in South Africa will close next year, ending operations after almost two decades. What do you think? “Recess forever!” Dwight Hoffa, Flute Tuner “They must have run out of…
New ‘Ted Lasso’ Season Aims To Teach Viewers About Shapes, Colors
NEW YORK—Claiming that fans would love clapping and dancing along with their favorite characters,Ted Lasso star Jason Sudeikis confirmed that the show’s fourth season, which begins Wednesday, would teach viewers about shapes and colors. “At this…
Ring Launches Streaming Service
HAWTHORNE, CA—Providing customers with an expansive and growing library of premium content, smart doorbell manufacturer Ring launched a new streaming service Wednesday. Company officials said Ring+, as the subscription platform is called, features…
Bay Area Children Set Up Adrenochrome Stand On Side Of Road
ATHERTON, CA—With a hand-painted sign taped to the front of their fold-up card table, local Bay Area children Rowan and Amanda Denton reportedly opened an adrenochrome stand Wednesday along a busy suburban road. “Adrenochrome! Adrenochrome for sale!…
Live Better Than A King
Live Better Than A King: Lord over this 750-square-foot studio replete with modern electricity—a luxury that Cyrus the Great, Charlemagne, and even the powerful Genghis Khan never experienced. Reference #21087 The post Live Better Than A King appeared…