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Home/Satire - The Onion/10 Players To Watch This NFL Season

10 Players To Watch This NFL Season

September 25, 2026

From breakout stars to aging veterans, these are the players most likely to define the 2026 NFL season. 

Aidan Hutchinson, Lions defensive end: After signing a four-year extension worth $180 million last season, Hutchinson should finally be able to afford enough eye black for both sides of his face.

A.J. Brown, Patriots wide receiver: Brown will continue using his combination of size, speed, and the very large brass dinner bell he rings whenever he’s open in hopes of leading the Patriots to a second-straight Super Bowl appearance.

Cam Skattebo, Giants running back: The hard-charging back will look to make the most of his final season before violent collisions render him unable to speak in full sentences or recognize loved ones.

Ja’Marr Chase, Bengals wide receiver: His arms grew three feet during the offseason. It’s unclear at this point whether this will help him or make things harder.

Deshaun Watson, Browns quarterback: Cleveland’s $230 million man enters the season hoping to perform well enough to turn Browns fans’ anger back into the familiar disappointment and misery they’ve known for generations.

Jahmyr Gibbs, Lions running back: Already among the league’s brightest stars, Gibbs is earning comparisons in Detroit to Barry Sanders for the way he is a running back for a team that will ultimately never win anything.

Gordon the Pig, Texans safety: After a breakout 2025 in which the free safety recorded 112 tackles and four interceptions, Gordon the Pig looks to bounce back from a brutal divisional-round loss in which he allowed a touchdown after being distracted by a delicious patch of grass.

Caleb Williams, Bears quarterback: Williams will continue trying to make the case that he’s the Bears’ long-term answer at quarterback even though “long-term Bears quarterback” remains a purely theoretical concept.

Kenneth Walker III, Chiefs running back: Kenneth Walker III combines the power of Kenneth Walker I with the speed of Kenneth Walker II.

Aaron Rodgers, Steelers quarterback: Be sure to watch Rodgers, as he has specifically requested to be given lots of attention.

The post 10 Players To Watch This NFL Season appeared first on The Onion.

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