New HBO Burning Man Documentary Just Four Hours of Naked Venture Capitalists
BLACK ROCK CITY, Nev. — The recent Burning Man documentary series on HBO was revealed to be just four hours of venture capitalists and tech bros gathered in the remote Nevada desert to shed their luxury clothing and let their freak flags fly, disgusted sources confirm.
“When we set out to make this documentary, we expected a lot of positivity, love, unity and respect. But ultimately, we discovered this long-standing bohemian desert fest has become a playground for the ultra-wealthy,” said “The Man Will Burn” director Jehane Noujaim. “The amount of naked venture capitalists that we saw was disturbing. We encountered one tech bro walking around nude with a sherpa they hired whose job was to cover his genitals as he walked to prevent sunburn. We saw another money manager that was spinning fire poi with his nipple clamps. I’ll never be able to unsee that.”
The cash flow isn’t just from the wealthy attendees, as many of the Burning Man board members are also rolling in the dough.
“Look, I take my $401,000 salary very seriously,” said a topless Burning Man CEO Marian Goodell in her San Francisco office. “I work very hard all year to take money from people named Pinecone who sell grilled cheese sandwiches to reiki practitioners. If it weren’t for me and the other board members, this festival would still be adhering to its original principles of radical self-expression and gifting. That shit is fucking boring. Show me the money you filthy rich hippies!”
Lower-income attendees have soured on the influx of ultra-wealthy attendees while money hoarders like Kimbal Musk, brother of Elon Musk, proclaim that Burning Man is essentially Silicon Valley now.
“Look, bro, the peasants can still come if they want, but this is my playground now. I bought this entire desert last year so me and my pals could get fucking naked and party,” stated a visibly erect Kimbal Musk. “I didn’t exploit the lives of millions of people to have to keep my clothes on and be respectful. I did this so I could take a ketamine shit in my air-conditioned tent. Get me another bump, you dirty slave!”
At press time, Kimbal Musk was seen shaving a Tesla logo into his pubic hair.
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