GWAR Accused of Using AI Cum in New Video

RICHMOND, Va. — Intergalactic degenerates GWAR have come under fire recently for allegedly using generative AI to create the semen for their new video “Cock Destroyer,” confirmed sources.

“GWAR definitely used AI for the cum in ‘Cock Destroyer,’” said digital effects artist and long-time GWAR fan Kurt Summers. “See the color? It’s flat white. Real cum is pearlescent with a glossy finish. And look at the janky way it flies through the air—it curves to the left and makes a steep drop. Real cum shoots in a forward arc. I got to say, I’ve always held GWAR to a much higher standard than that.” 

But while Summers presented a compelling argument, diehard GWAR fan Scott Wagner remains unconvinced.

“GWAR would never use AI to create a bodily fluid they could produce themselves,” said Wagner. “I mean, I doubt any of them can even operate a computer. You think BalSac the Jaws ‘o Death or Beefcake the Mighty know anything about writing prompts for Sora or Claude? Fuck no! Those guys only know how to do three things: smoke crack, disembowel people, and rock out. In that order.”

GWAR frontman Blothar the Berserker also denies that the band used AI in their new video.

“Listen up maggots, because I’m only going to say this once: all the cum in ‘Cock Destroyer’ is 100% real and straight from Oderus Urungus’s mighty testicles,” said Blothar in the band’s official statement. “When Oderus fucked off to parts unknown he left behind his sentient codpiece the Cuttlefish of Cthulu and inside it, a steaming wad of scumdog spunk—enough for 10 music videos! However, GWAR would just like to state for the record that even if we did use AI what the fuck are any of you chodes gonna do about it? We’re immortal psychopaths from across the cosmos with the power to destroy your puny little shitball planet a thousand times over. We don’t give a flying shit through a donut what 8.3 billion worms think of us. P.S. ‘Cock Destroyer’ is available now on all major streaming platforms.”

At press time, GWAR reminded fans that in 42 years, the band has never employed any intelligence in the creation of its music—artificial or otherwise.

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