Analysts Warn U.S. Economy Becoming Overly Dependent On Anne Hathaway

NEW YORK—Calling the current rate of theatrical releases starring the actress “unsustainable,” top analysts warned Wednesday that the U.S. economy was becoming overly dependent on Anne Hathaway. “Between Mother Mary, The Devil Wears Prada 2, The Odyssey, The End Of Oak Street, and the upcoming Verity, not to mention the whole other slate of projects she has in preproduction, we estimate that Anne Hathaway films currently account for a staggering 63% of all U.S. exports,” said Jason Nadu, head of leading-lady analytics at Bloomberg, who urged industry leaders to begin diversifying into other mid-career actresses immediately to prevent the nation from collapsing into an economic depression. “While it’s great we’re experiencing a boom, we need to prepare for the eventual bust. We cannot bury our heads in the sand and pretend a Devil Wears Prada 3 or Interstellar 2  is coming. Like it or not, Anne Hathaway will not be around forever. And then what?” Nadu went on to add that the remaining 37% of U.S. exports were Robert Pattinson and Zendaya films.

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