Phoebe Bridgers Sends Warning To Fans By Executing Phone On Stage

SALT LAKE CITY—Emphasizing that the ban on electronic recording devices was a rule, not a suggestion, singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers reportedly sent a warning to fans at the Delta Center on Wednesday by executing a phone on stage. “Well, well, well, what do we have here?” said Bridgers, holding up the contraband Samsung Galaxy S she had snatched from an audience member in general admission with one hand and waving a semi-automatic pistol in the air with the other. “This is The Lost Tour, motherfuckers. Do you understand? You will live in the moment. You will connect with the music. Does this look like a Maya Hawke show to you? Yeah, I didn’t think so.” At press time, witnesses confirmed Bridgers had unloaded multiple rounds into the smartphone, taken a deep breath, and gone back to strumming the opening chords of “Garden Song” like nothing had happened.

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