Democratic Socialism: Myth Vs. Fact

Candidates from the left’s Democratic Socialists of America party have been gaining momentum around the country in primaries leading up to the midterms. The Onion examines the common myths and facts surrounding the DSA.

MYTH: Socialist ideas have never worked in the real world.

FACT: No political theory has ever worked in real life.

MYTH: The Soviet Union had democratic socialism.

FACT: The Soviet Union had a dog who went to space.

MYTH: The government will take away your money and give it to the poor.

FACT: You are the poor.

MYTH: The workers of the world must unite and seize the means of production from the ruling class by force if necessary.

FACT: The workers of the world should politely ask if they can have Labor Day off this year.

MYTH: DSA policies like universal healthcare would help millions of Americans.

FACT: Israel has the right to defend itself.

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