Druid Loving This Cloak Weather

HILL OF TARA, IRELAND—Visibly beaming as he took in the crisp weather and mist-swathed heath on his way to the stone circle, local druid Fográith of the Mountains announced Friday that he was really loving this cloak weather. “Oh man, there’s nothing better than when you feel that first nip in the air and get to throw on your heavy bull-hide cloak,” said the chief-ollam, who noted that he spent the whole year looking forward to roving out amongst the beautiful autumnal foliage while carrying his quarterstaff. “I’m a total cloak season type of guy: Brewing up big, steaming mugs of mistletoe elixir. Long nights getting cozy inside and divining Ogham staves. Gosh, and celebrating Mabon! I can’t believe I almost forgot the Mabon. If it gets any colder, I might throw on my big antlered headpiece, too.” Fográith added that he was especially looking forward to enjoying the first frost by building a fire under a wicker man and watching his human sacrifice go up in flames.

The post Druid Loving This Cloak Weather appeared first on The Onion.