Trump Designates Poll Watchers As 7th U.S. Military Branch
WASHINGTON—In a move he claimed was essential to maintaining domestic security, President Donald Trump formally designated poll watchers as the seventh branch of the U.S. military this week. “I am hereby authorizing the formation of America’s newest and deadliest military branch: the U.S. Poll Watchers,” Trump said at a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden, flanked by some of the election observers who will form a coequal branch of the armed forces alongside the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, and Space Force. “With their first-class domestic-violence training, these brave individuals will ensure our elections are completely free of radical Marxists and minorities. Furthermore, I am establishing the Donald J. Trump Poll Watching Academy, where America’s finest will be trained to hound voters, obstruct entrances, and fiddle around with voting machines at a level unmatched anywhere in the world.” Trump ended the ceremony by unveiling the new U.S. Poll Watchers official seal, which bears a Latin motto that translates to “Are You Legal?”
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