Poll: Americans Likelier To Vote For Candidate Who Hasn’t Barged In On Them In Bathroom Stall

HAMDEN, CT—Suggesting the act raises serious questions among voters about a politician’s respect for the average citizen’s privacy, a poll out Monday from Quinnipiac University found that Americans are more likely to vote for candidates who haven’t barged in on them in a bathroom stall. “Across age, race, gender, and ideological divisions, U.S. residents overwhelmingly indicated they would not show up to the polls for anyone who opened the door to the stall they were occupying, made eye contact, and froze in horror at their mistake,” said polling analyst Gillian Sanders, adding that factors like name recognition and policy positions ceased to be relevant once a candidate interrupted a voter in the middle of a private moment in the restroom. “Voters are less averse to candidates who merely stick their head inside for a brief moment and then apologize repeatedly for their error, but overall these behaviors are still perceived quite negatively. To maximize their appeal on Election Day, candidates should just stand silently outside the bathroom like a normal person and patiently wait for voters to finish their business.” At press time, Quinnipiac University released a follow-up poll that found Americans were even further turned off by candidates who kicked down every stall door one by one, demanding the votes of each person inside.

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