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Home/Satire - The Onion/Sports Betting By The Numbers

Sports Betting By The Numbers

November 2, 2026

With the recent explosion of sportsbooks and prediction markets, interest in gambling on sports has never been higher. The Onion looks at the figures behind the boom in sports betting.

$140,000

Parlay winnings if the basketball catches fire, then it rains inside, then the wet basketball is slam dunked by Nikola Jokić

2

New sports cars in referee’s garage

168

Times the TV made Daddy cry

19

States allowing “DraftKings” as reason for divorce

2.7 liters

Volume of blood plasma sitting unsold in your body

65 MPH

Average speed of remote control whipped into the wall

3

Minutes of conversation this buys you with your daughter’s boyfriend

All of it…ALL OF IT!!!

Amount that’s gone

The post Sports Betting By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.

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