Trump Bans Numbers 2 and 9 After Approval Rating Hits 29
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unprecedented attack on two prominent integers, on Monday Donald J. Trump banned the numerals 2 and 9 after his approval rating dropped to 29.
“Two and nine have treated me very unfairly,” said Trump, calling the numbers “low I.Q.”
Going forward, sources said, the White House will report Trump’s approval rating in base 3, which means that 29% will convert to 1002%.
Trump hinted darkly that his war on numbers might just be getting started, alleging that the entire numerical system “was invented by Arabs who hate America.”
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