Hard Times Left Out of White House Ban
Okay, this is honestly just weird. Frankly, we’re not sure how we got White House press passes to begin with; we filled for them as a joke, and somehow it worked. Frankly, it’s almost insulting that while CNN, MS NOW, and Politico have been banned from the White House grounds for spreading “fake news” altogether, The Hard Times has a reporter at every press conference. Are we that under the radar?
It’s strange to unpack what this move confirms. CNN gets kicked out for suggesting the Iran war has been mismanaged, yet our headlines about Trump accusing China of shitting his pants or being visited by pedophile ghost friends are a-okay? Feels like a very tacit admission from the Oval Office.
We have not conducted ourselves in a professional manner at all. We send the crustiest, muddiest punks we can find. At best, they wear clip-on ties paired with Cramps T-shirts and battle vests, they always have a bottle in a brown bag in one hand, and they crank cigs right in the press room with their muddy feet up on the chair in front of them. We haven’t gotten so much as a warning.
Well, guess it falls on us to carry the flame and report the real news. Rest assured, we will continue to bring you the most honest and up-to-date coverage of the Trump administration possible, and we will continue to pepper in the word “pedophile” and the fact that he routinely shits his pants at every turn.
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