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Home/Satire - The Onion/Alex Garland Regrets Blowing Most Of ‘Elden Ring’ Budget On DEX

Alex Garland Regrets Blowing Most Of ‘Elden Ring’ Budget On DEX

November 5, 2026

NEW YORK—Voicing concern that he had misallocated much of the $200 million A24 had provided, director Alex Garland made remarks Thursday in which he expressed regret for having blown most of the budget for his Elden Ring movie adaptation on DEX. “Of course, it’s good to have some points in Dexterity given the bows and rapiers in the movie, but I’m starting to think I should have put some of that money toward makeup or sound editing or paying the actors,” said the filmmaker, adding that most of the cast and crew had already hit the stat’s second soft cap after the first $5 million. “It made sense to max out Kit Connor’s DEX for the big Waterfowl Dance sequence in the finale, but I probably could have gotten away with just giving the craft services people Radagon’s Soreseal and enough INT to run an air fryer. We had weeks of filming delays from injury because everyone only got base Vigor, and Nick Offerman’s Endurance was so low the poor guy was fat rolling before we even got him in costume. Man, I really fucked this up. No wonder Spielberg always uses a quality build.” At press time, Garland had reportedly used a Larval Tear to respec the film’s entire budget into Claymation.

The post Alex Garland Regrets Blowing Most Of ‘Elden Ring’ Budget On DEX appeared first on The Onion.

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