Russian Who Funded Don Jr’s Wedding Also Funding His Divorce
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—The Russian oligarch who paid for Donald J. Trump Jr.’s recent wedding revealed on Tuesday that he would also bankroll the newlywed’s divorce.
“I wish Don Jr. the best in his new marriage,” Umar Kremlev, who is close to Russian President Vladimir Putin, said. “But if it turns out like his first one, his divorce is on me.”
Kremlev said that, in the event of such a split, “I’ll cover the legal bill and pay his ex-wife alimony—in crypto instead of real money, of course.”
The oligarch stressed, however, that he was not offering to finance the divorce “of everyone named Trump,” adding, “I’ve already said no to Melania.”
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