Freida Flores and Anthony Acosta
After a misprint on the invitations, Flores and Acosta had a strict only-kids wedding. The post Freida Flores and Anthony Acosta appeared first on The Onion.
Pros And Cons Of Letting Dogs Sleep In The Bed
Pet lovers and health experts are divided over whether dogs should co-sleep with their owners. The Onion examines the pros and cons of letting dogs sleep in the bed. PRO They’ll bark to let you know if anyone else is getting into bed Get more use…
New Orleans Pelicans Can’t Help But Notice They’re Not On NBA Schedule This Year
NEW ORLEANS—Wondering aloud if there had been some kind of miscommunication on the part of the league, New Orleans Pelicans players told reporters Friday they couldn’t help but notice they hadn’t been included on the 2026-27 NBA schedule. “I checked the…
I’ve Got A Bad Feline About This
The post I’ve Got A Bad Feline About This appeared first on The Onion.
Iggy Pop’s Merch Booth Doesn’t Sell T-Shirts
CHICAGO — The merch booth for Iggy Pop reportedly doesn’t sell t-shirts of the iconic musician, confirmed sources who were looking for a size medium, if possible. “We adhere to a strict ‘no shirts’ rule here, just like Iggy would’ve wanted,” said merch…
Wanted: Graphic Designer to Fix Our AI-Generated Show Flyer
Looking for a talented, experienced graphic designer to fix our AI-generated show flyers immediately. We discovered after getting 2,000 flyers back from the printer that it’s an abomination, despite our manager claiming the prompts he put into Chat GPT…
Everything We Know About ‘Grand Theft Auto VI’ So Far
After two delays, the highly anticipated Grand Theft Auto VI will be released this November. Here is everything we know about the game so far. Open-world activities include playing volleyball, chess, cards, or GTA V Gunshot sound effects performed by Sir…
FBI Moves To Raise Murder Rate For First Time Since 2023
WASHINGTON—Insisting that the adjustment was long overdue, the Federal Bureau of Investigation announced Thursday that it would raise the national murder rate for the first time since 2023. “For far too long, prior administrations succumbed to pressure…
The NFL Concussion Protocol: How The League Determines If A Player Can Return To The Game
Here are the steps the NFL follows to evaluate head injuries. Step 1: Player receives devastating helmet-to-helmet hit that leaves him motionless for 46 seconds Step 2: Spotter initiates protocol after noticing entire offense kneeling in prayer beside…
Mitch McConnell Returns To Capitol Hill In Jar Of Formaldehyde
The post Mitch McConnell Returns To Capitol Hill In Jar Of Formaldehyde appeared first on The Onion.