Nation Shocked That Darline Graham Not Stupidest Senator on Judiciary Committee
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans were still in a state of shock on Wednesday after discovering that Lindsey Graham’s sister Darline was not the stupidest member of the Senate Judiciary Committee.
Although Graham appeared barely sentient throughout Tuesday’s proceedings, she did not emit what were universally viewed as the session’s most idiotic utterances, a broad majority of Americans agreed.
No one, perhaps, was more surprised at her not being the dumbest senator on display than Graham herself, who called the hearings “a big win for yours truly.”
“I guess the bar for intelligence in the Senate was much lower than I thought,” she told reporters. “Now I can see how Chuck Grassley has managed to stick around this place for 900 years.”
