Chris Hansen Slams ‘Primetime’ For Inaccurate Portrayal Of Celebratory Breakdances He Did After Catching Pedophiles

LOS ANGELES—Ripping apart the film’s “egregious” omission, former To Catch A Predator host Chris Hansen took to social media Tuesday to slam Primetime for its inaccurate portrayal of the celebratory breakdances he performed every time he caught a pedophile. “Obviously, I’m a little biased since the character is based on me, but I was shocked to sit through the entire film and not once see [Robert Pattinson] throw down a sheet of cardboard and start spinning on his head to rejoice at another predator apprehended,” said Hansen, claiming he was not once consulted by director Lance Oppenheim on either the meticulously choreographed routines or the song choices he tailored to every unique pedophile’s chat logs and background. “I’m not sure what the point of doing a To Catch A Predator movie is if you’re not even going to show the reality of how I’d don my iconic gold ‘HAVE A SEAT’ chain and ‘SHE’S 16’ bucket hat, then hit a standing backflip while the cops slapped on the handcuffs. If you need evidence that the film is a hit piece on me, look no further than the fact that Robert Pattinson plays me as a dark, cynical individual who never even pops-and-locks in parachute pants.” Hansen also announced he would take out ads before every screening of the film to show audiences how to pull off his signature moves.

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