Mitch McConnell Trounces Trump on Cognitive Exam

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a brutal defeat for Donald J. Trump, Senator Mitch McConnell handily trounced him on a cognitive test administered to both men on Tuesday.

According to an attending neurologist who spoke on condition of anonymity, “When asked the test questions, Senator McConnell was totally unresponsive, as opposed to President Trump…

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