Rob Schneider Files for Relevancy

WASHINGTON — Rob Schneider, once the famed pariah of SNL and star of such classic films as ‘Deuce Bigalow’ and ‘The Hot Chick,’ filed for relevancy after 25 years of blissful invisibility from our collective awareness, sources close to the insufferable right-wing comic confirm.  

According to the relevancy filing, obtained by Breitbart News,   Schneider, now in his 60s, is not asking for much. “I just want to go back to being that guy you see on the street who makes you say, ‘I think I saw that guy in something; he was terrible’” a statement accompanying the filing reads. 
Willie Naughtywood, a ChatGPT-generated spokesperson for Schneider, said in a grammatically awkward press release that the has-been B-lister is “working hard, very, for the MAGA movement, but no evident government position invite from President Donald J. Trump has arrived.” 

In a post on Truth Social, Schneider asked for privacy and $1 million at this time. 

This is a breaking story, and we’ll have more as it develops. 

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