Skip to content
Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

  • Home
  • Home
Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

  • Home
  • Home
Home/Satire - Hard Drive/Microsoft Reveals Next Xbox Console Will Be Able To Play DVDs

Microsoft Reveals Next Xbox Console Will Be Able To Play DVDs

July 1, 2026
Updated on August 6, 2026

REDMOND, Wash. – Microsoft Gaming has announced that its forthcoming, yet to-be-named next-generation Xbox console will be able to play DVDs, befuddled sources report.

“This has been in development for a long time, and we’re excited to finally make the reveal,” CEO Phil Spencer told reporters. “While we can’t provide all the details on the new system at this time, we can confirm that it will come equipped with full DVD functionality. That’s right. Gamers will not have to bother with toggling between playing their favorite Xbox titles and their favorite movies, as the system will be able to do both. I invite our customers to stay tuned for more updates on what’s to come, as it’s features like these that will ensure our new console stands above the competition in delivering the best interactive experience in the world.”

Gamer Ian Donegal was confused by the news.

“Does anybody even watch DVDs anymore?” Donegal questioned. “Also, most consoles have been capable of playing them for like two decades at this point, and I’m guessing the vast majority of gamers don’t use that functionality, and if they do, they’re probably playing Blu-Rays. I’m starting to think this Phil Spencer guy may not have the best ideas if this is what he’s expecting us to get excited about. How about announcing something that consumers would like to see from Xbox, like an exclusive title that would stir up some excitement for them to buy over one of the competitors?”

Gaming expert Maya Flores weighed in on the situation.

“I know Xbox hasn’t always made the best decisions, but this one is particularly mystifying,” Flores offered. “Especially after all the layoffs that Xbox incurred just this past summer, I would’ve expected a much more impressive announcement, like a groundbreaking virtual reality add-on or a particularly big game not available anywhere else. Never in a million years would I have predicted a feature that gamers have long since already had access to and forgotten about, but hey, I’ve been wrong before.”

At press time, Spencer had also revealed that the upcoming system would have wireless controllers.

The post Microsoft Reveals Next Xbox Console Will Be Able To Play DVDs appeared first on Hard Drive.

Author

Syndicator

Follow Me
Other Articles
Previous

Stephen Miller Visibly Erect After Dropping Baby Penguin off Cliff in Super Mario 64

Next

Yoshi Held in Custody After Vanilla Lake Police Find Unregistered Red Turtle Shell in His Kart

Recent Posts

  • Nation Watches Helplessly As 2028 Election Cycle Begins
  • Chuck Schumer Delivers Victory Speech To Previously Enthusiastic Crowd
  • Melania Can’t Believe Trump Thinks They Have a “Let’s Take the Cyanide Together” Level Relationship
  • Today’s Historic Front Page: November 4, 2026
  • Today’s Historic Front Page: November 4, 2026

Categories

  • Satire – Hard Drive
  • Satire – SatireWire
  • Satire – The Borrowitz Report
  • Satire – The Hard Times
  • Satire – The Onion
  • Uncategorized

Archives

  • November 2026
  • October 2026
  • September 2026
  • August 2026
  • July 2026
  • June 2026
  • December 2020
  • June 2019
  • September 2018
  • June 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017

You May Have Missed

Satire - The Onion

Nation Watches Helplessly As 2028 Election Cycle Begins

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Onion

Chuck Schumer Delivers Victory Speech To Previously Enthusiastic Crowd

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Hard Times

Melania Can’t Believe Trump Thinks They Have a “Let’s Take the Cyanide Together” Level Relationship

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Onion

Today’s Historic Front Page: November 4, 2026

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Today’s Historic Front Page: November 4, 2026
Satire - The Onion

Today’s Historic Front Page: November 4, 2026

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Onion

Haley Stevens High-Fiving Everyone At El-Sayed Victory Party Like Nothing Happened

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Hard Times

YES WE CAN Only Have 44 Or So Senators Backing a Fascist Child Molester

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Onion

Abdul El-Sayed Makes History As First Physically Healthy Senator

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026
Satire - The Hard Times

On a Roll: Democrats Win House, Senate, America’s Next Top Model 

Syndicator
By Syndicator
November 4, 2026

Hey, there's nothing else on this page, you're at the footer.

Copyright 2026 — Humoro.us. All rights reserved.