Dark Horse Emerges In Competition For Most Insane Coworker
MARIETTA, GA—After the employee surfaced from out of nowhere to contend with lunatics once thought untouchable, sources at Horizon Insurance Solutions confirmed Tuesday that claims adjuster Erika Newton had emerged as a dark horse in the competition for most insane coworker. “I never would’ve guessed that someone who’s usually so bland would ever be in the running, especially with Dave [Kraft] and Paula [Ramirez] around,” said Natalie Corso, referring to a colleague who routinely clipped and ate his fingernails at his desk and another who posted unsolicited Bible cartoons to the all-staff chat. “However, when Erika lost her mind in the middle of the weekly kickoff meeting, I knew shit just got interesting. She’ll have to sustain that if she wants to rise in the ranks and pass Curt [Lerro], who puts his phone on his lap and peeks down at porn at half-volume while he works. But if she keeps those freak-outs coming, we may have to start talking about a reshuffling at the top.” Corso added, however, that Newton would never officially be the most insane person at work until she showed up drunk and fell asleep in the break room with a gun in her hand like Ted Bergen did.
The post Dark Horse Emerges In Competition For Most Insane Coworker appeared first on The Onion.
