Rest Of Fantasy League Losing Patience With Player Who Has Other Things Going On In His Life

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Expressing frustration over their friend’s increasingly disinterested behavior in recent years, participants in a local fantasy football league confirmed Tuesday that they were rapidly losing patience with the one player in their group who has other things going on in his life. “I swear to God, Brian [Fischer] needs to get his act together if he wants to keep playing fantasy with us,” said Oscar Nolan, longtime commissioner of the Jalen Hurts So Good 12-person keeper league, criticizing Fischer’s failure to respond to trade requests in a timely manner, as well as the lackluster group chat participation of the man who has a wife, two daughters, and numerous personal interests outside of making roster changes to a fantasy football team. “He doesn’t talk trash, he doesn’t use the custom emotes, and I don’t think he was even in the livestream last night, because he was running some stupid charity event. He even left the live draft early this year so he could do that kayak thing. Seriously, we still had two rounds left [selecting players for a virtual football team in a dimly lit garage], and he just saunters off, [living life to the fullest]. What a loser.” Nolan added that his league mate’s unmotivated play was all the more galling given that Fischer has finished in first place three years straight.

The post Rest Of Fantasy League Losing Patience With Player Who Has Other Things Going On In His Life appeared first on The Onion.