David Attenborough Admits To Exaggerating Wonder Of Seals

LONDON—Acknowledging that the sea mammals were far from being “awe-inspiring, beautiful creatures or a splendor of nature,” an embarrassed David Attenborough finally admitted this week to exaggerating the wonder of seals. “While I did several monologues in voiceover claiming that sea lions have a quiet majesty, they are actually just stinky, slippery wet dogs with fins that are mediocre at best,” said Attenborough, contritely confessing that he used hyperbole to mislead the public into thinking seals were worth paying any attention to at all. “Look, there’s only so many animals, not all of them are going to be winners. Calling those disgusting little gray lumps ‘one of life’s miracles’ was just me padding time until I got to talk about polar bears.” Attenborough also noted that he completely understood why people clubbed the nasty Arctic-dwelling creatures. 

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