Chuck Schumer Delivers Victory Speech To Previously Enthusiastic Crowd

WASHINGTON—Their raucous cheers plunging to near pin-drop silence in a manner of seconds, presumptive Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) delivered a victory speech Tuesday night to a previously enthusiastic crowd. Sources told reporters that elated Democrats had been clapping, shouting, and even dancing for almost an hour straight, and their energy drained from the room the very moment that Schumer, with a small fist pump, began speaking into his microphone. According to reports, the campaign signs that attendees had been exuberantly waving above their heads were limply held at waist level as Schumer looked ahead to “bipartisan solutions,” “reaching across the aisle,” and “focusing on what unites us, not what divides us.” Witnesses in attendance said that most of the crowd, after exchanging a few crestfallen glances, had trudged out of the room by the time Schumer declared that presumptive House Speaker Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) stood right by his side.

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