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Home/Satire - The Onion/Tips For Moving Abroad

Tips For Moving Abroad

November 3, 2026

Figuring out how to leave the United States and set up your life in another country can be complicated, confusing, and time-consuming. The Onion shares tips for moving abroad.

Start by moving to an adjacent country and gradually work your way across the world.

You never know which countries have food, so eat a good meal before you go.

Learn as much as you possibly can about Tanzanian culture before moving, especially if you’re moving to Tanzania.

Before booking your children’s flights, consider if it’s more cost effective to purchase new children upon arrival.

Only pack the necessities: two cans of sardines, a corncob pipe, and a harmonica.

Throw away all your electronics, as there’s no way to plug them in anywhere else.

Get a sense of your purchasing power by converting your dollars to kilometers. 

Connect with fellow expats who can help explain what a terrible mistake you’ve made.

The post Tips For Moving Abroad appeared first on The Onion.

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