Court Orders Kennedy Name Removed From RFK Jr.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bombshell ruling on Tuesday, a federal judge ordered the Kennedy name removed from Robert F. Kennedy Jr. “immediately.”
“Henceforth, the former Mr. Kennedy will be known as Robert Fitzgerald Trump,” Judge Harland Dorrinson ruled. “Since Donald J. Trump has long wanted to put his name on something named Kennedy, this seems like the perfect resolution.”
In a dramatic unveiling in court, the judge ordered a tarp removed from the former Kennedy, who now had the word TRUMP tattooed on his face.
The renaming of the former Mr. Kennedy drew the unanimous approval of the Kennedy family, who said in an official statement, “Finally, our nightmare is over.”
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