George Lucas Frantically Hosing Wasp Nest Out Of R2-D2 Before Museum Opening

SAN ANSELMO, CA—Cursing himself for ever thinking “this museum thing” was a good idea, a frantic George Lucas was reportedly hosing a wasp nest out of R2-D2 Monday ahead of the public opening of his new Museum of Narrative Art. “Hold still, R2—we were supposed to be there 15 minutes ago,” said the 82-year-old filmmaker, who swatted away the stinging insects as he blasted the beeping robot with the pressurized water stream. “Hush, I’m almost done. I didn’t want to have to do this myself, but I can’t risk you electrocuting the Orkin man again. And we haven’t even pulled C-3PO out of the crawlspace yet. Shit, I really hope I didn’t throw out Luke’s lightsaber when I did my spring cleaning.” At press time, an Uber was arriving in Lucas’s driveway just as he finished using a vacuum attachment on Chewbacca’s back.

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