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Home/Satire - The Onion/Trump’s Triumphal Arch By The Numbers

Trump’s Triumphal Arch By The Numbers

October 5, 2026

Trump has directed his administration to build a triumphal arch in Washington, D.C., to commemorate the nation’s 250th anniversary. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures behind the new monument.

4

Barrons tall at highest point

17

Engraved typos

1

Additional arch needed to make McDonald’s logo

20,000

Estimated trips to Michaels needed to complete construction

Free

Cost for single ladies on Wednesday nights

900

Spikes added to make arch look even tougher

10

Second warning to any school children touching the arch before they are shot on sight

1

Healthy male relationship during Trump’s youth could have prevented all this

189 million

Viewers that will watch its eventual dismantling on livestream

The post Trump’s Triumphal Arch By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.

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