Opinion “Eat, Sleep, Pretend Your Hobby Defines You as a Person, Repeat”
You’re a beautiful and unique snowflake, aren’t you? Of course you are, you fucking bad-ass! So, what’s your favorite hobby? Is it glass-blowing like this guy we’re in line behind with a t-shirt on that says “Eat, sleep, blow-glass, repeat”? Or maybe it’s still-life painting like this woman in the parking lot with a t-shirt reading “Eat, sleep, still-life paint, repeat.” You have one in mind; we can tell. It’s what drew you to the headline and why you started reading this article. Whatever it is, put that shit on a t-shirt to let the world know that all you do is “Eat, sleep, pretend your hobby defines you as a person, and then repeat it all over again!”
Of course you repeat it all over again cause that’s all you do. It has to be all you do because if it wasn’t, no one would believe that the hobby you’re faking as defining your entire personality did precisely that. You have no time for anything else. Hell, let’s be honest, you’re probably loathing the fact that “eat” and “sleep” are even listed because it kinda takes some steam out of that world-framing avocation of yours. You’re probably even a little scared some people may not believe that your favorite craft is quite literally who you are because, not only are there two things you also do, but they both are mentioned before your most passionate pastime — it says so right on the T-shirt!
And admit it, you have a little disdain, and probably downright pity for people who have room in their lives for a fourth thing. Like this guy in front of us at the stoplight with a rock-climbing license plate frame. Yeah, he likes rock-climbing; that’s obvious. There’s just one thing: it doesn’t seem to shape and mold this guy’s entire being because, while we can only assume he eats and sleeps cause everyone has to do that, this faker could totally have space for something else because the plate frame didn’t specify that he didn’t. Are you following us? It was kinda open-ended, simply reading “Stop what you’re doing and go climb a rock.” Whatever fella. You wouldn’t have to “stop what you’re doing” if all you did was eat, sleep, and tame that specialty of yours like you own that bitch!
So, how was that little pep talk? Something right out of Gary V’s playbook, yeah? So get your shit together and get that t-shirt. Also, get a leg up on us and figure out how to cut those first two things out completely — you’ll be so far ahead of the game. A shirt that just lists your reason for living, followed by “repeat,” is truly next level. Especially if you’re really living it.
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