Skip to content
Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

  • Home
  • Home
Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

Humoro.us Humoro.us

It's all made up.

  • Home
  • Home
Home/Satire - The Borrowitz Report/When Jane Goodall Destroyed Elon Musk
When Jane Goodall Destroyed Elon Musk

When Jane Goodall Destroyed Elon Musk

July 16, 2026
Updated on August 6, 2026

Goodall with a far more interesting primate than Elon Musk. (Photo by SUMY SADURNI/AFP via Getty Images)

When the world’s most admired woman was attacked by the world’s least interesting man, it was no contest.

Like the millions of other people whose lives she touched, I miss Jane Goodall.

I had the honor of chatting with Dr. Goodall in the last year of her remarkable life. She told me a story I’d never heard before: about the time Elon Musk tried to pick a fight with her online, and failed miserably.

“He’s the only person who’s criticized me on social media,” she said. “Attacked me, almost. He accused me of wanting genocide. Simply because I said, you know, we can’t have unlimited economic development if we carry on as we are, and the human population continues to grow.”

So Jane had a few words with Musk’s No. 2: “I said, ‘Why is your boss attacking me?” And he said, ‘Well, Elon’s going to find this planet or make a planet habitable for humans. And he’s afraid if the human population on planet Earth drops, then there won’t be enough people for him to populate his new planet.’”

“Out there, political leaders, not only in America, other countries, too,” Jane said, “they are setting out, not deliberately to destroy the environment, but because they’re carrying on as usual, they are taking more from nature than she can replenish. And I’m not going to give in to them. I mean, I won’t. So the more damage they do, the harder I’ll fight. And I’ve got literally hundreds of thousands of young people now, all feeling the same.”

Watch my interview with Jane Goodall here.

Get every weekday post of The Borowitz Report with a free subscription, or enjoy all the premium content and benefits of paid membership for only $6.

Leave a comment

Share

Author

Syndicator

Follow Me
Other Articles
Pam Bondi Upstages Todd Blanche Hearings by Releasing Naked Photos of Trump on Epstein’s Island
Previous

Pam Bondi Upstages Todd Blanche Hearings by Releasing Naked Photos of Trump on Epstein’s Island

LEAKED: Suggested Slogans for Marco Rubio’s 2028 Campaign
Next

LEAKED: Suggested Slogans for Marco Rubio’s 2028 Campaign

Recent Posts

  • Report: Other Tailgate Looks More Fun
  • Survey Finds 1 In 3 Americans With Health Insurance Have Medical Debt
  • Five Black Metal Shirts That’ll Definitely Get You Kicked Out of That Christian Youth Group Your Parents Made You Join
  • Make-A-Wish Kid Spends Bulk of Pittsburgh Steelers Visit Being Lectured by Aaron Rodgers About Chemtrails 
  • Is America’s Crummiest Political Dynasty About to Bite the Dust?

Categories

  • Satire – Hard Drive
  • Satire – SatireWire
  • Satire – The Borrowitz Report
  • Satire – The Hard Times
  • Satire – The Onion
  • Uncategorized

Archives

  • September 2026
  • August 2026
  • July 2026
  • June 2026
  • December 2020
  • June 2019
  • September 2018
  • June 2018
  • February 2018
  • December 2017

You May Have Missed

Satire - The Onion

Report: Other Tailgate Looks More Fun

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 20, 2026
Survey Finds 1 In 3 Americans With Health Insurance Have Medical Debt
Satire - The Onion

Survey Finds 1 In 3 Americans With Health Insurance Have Medical Debt

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 20, 2026
Five Black Metal Shirts That’ll Definitely Get You Kicked Out of That Christian Youth Group Your Parents Made You Join
Satire - The Hard Times

Five Black Metal Shirts That’ll Definitely Get You Kicked Out of That Christian Youth Group Your Parents Made You Join

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 20, 2026
Satire - The Hard Times

Make-A-Wish Kid Spends Bulk of Pittsburgh Steelers Visit Being Lectured by Aaron Rodgers About Chemtrails 

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 20, 2026
Is America’s Crummiest Political Dynasty About to Bite the Dust?
Satire - The Borrowitz Report

Is America’s Crummiest Political Dynasty About to Bite the Dust?

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 19, 2026
Obama Family Dog Passes Away
Satire - The Onion

Obama Family Dog Passes Away

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 19, 2026
Satire - The Hard Times

Holy Fucking Shit! There’s Been a Person in This Parked Car Next to Me the Entire Time

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 19, 2026
Satire - The Hard Times

Scientists Reveal They’re Closer Than Ever To Discovering Whether the Black Crowes Are Classic Rock or Not

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 19, 2026
Satire - The Onion

Pitcher Clearly Ate Rosin Bag

Syndicator
By Syndicator
September 18, 2026

Hey, there's nothing else on this page, you're at the footer.

Copyright 2026 — Humoro.us. All rights reserved.