Susan Collins Concerned That Maine Voters Might Remember Things She Has Done
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Susan Collins said on Monday that she is “deeply concerned” that voters in Maine might remember things she has done in office.
“Maine voters are profoundly concerned about my record as their senator,” she said. “I want them to know that I’m concerned that they’re concerned.”
“If, for example, they remember that I voted to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, which led to the overturning of Roe v. Wade—well, there’s only one word for how that would impact my reelection chances,” she said. “Concerning.”
Collins said she hoped that, instead of focusing on her actions that are a cause for concern, voters would take into account her “entire career” in the Senate, stressing, “No one has furrowed her brow harder or wrung her hands more.”
