Red Sox Fan Throws Back Son Who Caught Yankees Home Run
The post Red Sox Fan Throws Back Son Who Caught Yankees Home Run appeared first on The Onion.
U.S. Lobbying Against Global Plastic Limits
A leaked memo revealed that U.S. diplomats are subverting efforts to limit global plastic production, doing so as worldwide plastic pollution grows to over 57 million tons annually. What do you think? “It doesn’t matter what they do, the papier-mâché…
Top Songs August 2025
1 Inoffensive Bridal Party Entrance Theme Music Bruno Mars 2 We Are One (Official Song Of The 2026 World Cornhole Championships) Shakira 3 Worry About Your Own Weight, Fat-Ass Ariana Grande 4 Go To Visitdubai.com To Learn More Maroon 5 5 HR Disciplinary…
Sophie Cunningham Claims Any Woman Who Averages More Than 8 Points Per Game Should Not Be Allowed To Play In WNBA
INDIANAPOLIS—Contending that the proposed restrictions were “common sense” and necessary to preserve the integrity of the sport, Indiana Fever shooting guard Sophie Cunningham claimed Friday that any woman who averages more than eight points per game…
HHS Replaces Childhood Vaccination Schedule With List Of Recommended Animal Bites
WASHINGTON—Revising the former timetable to reflect its latest public guidelines, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services replaced the childhood vaccination schedule Friday with a list of recommended animal bites. “It’s highly important that…
Stella Lefty Admits Nepotism May Have Helped Her Get Groupon+
LOS ANGELES—Responding to scrutiny concerning her tech billionaire father, artist Stella Lefty admitted in an interview Friday that nepotism may have played a role in helping her get Groupon+. “I had to set up the account myself, but yeah, I definitely…
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Larry Ellison
Larry Ellison is the co-founder and executive chairman of Oracle, as well as the largest shareholder of the Paramount Skydance Corporation. The Onion sat down with the billionaire to discuss his ventures. The Onion : How did you get into the…
Trump Posts Disturbing Video Of Himself Twirling With Knives
WASHINGTON—Prompting widespread concern among fans and followers, President Donald Trump uploaded a disturbing video of himself Friday rapidly twirling while holding knives. According to sources, the clip showed the commander-in-chief spinning around in…
SNAP Enrollment Drops By Over 13%
Stricter work requirements enacted in the Big Beautiful Bill have caused enrollment in the SNAP food assistance program to plummet over 13% over the past year as provisions kick in. What do you think? “If they want food so bad, they can start a crypto…
Lawyers Say Andrew Tate Rented Brother To Appear Loved Online
MIAMI—Saying the manosphere influencer vastly exaggerated aspects of his life in order to fabricate a social media persona, lawyers for Andrew Tate disclosed Thursday that he rented a brother to appear loved online. “Despite all the videos of…