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Home/Satire - The Onion/Landlord Takes Hornets’ Side

Landlord Takes Hornets’ Side

September 18, 2026

HUNTSVILLE, AL—Claiming he had looked into the issue per the tenant’s request, local landlord Ernest Morton told one of his renters Thursday that he had no choice but to take the hornets’ side in a recent dispute that occurred at one of his properties. “Look, I empathize with both perspectives on this matter, but at the end of the day, the hornets were here first,” said the 56-year-old building owner, informing the resident who had requested the removal of an active wasp nest that due to municipal leasing ordinances, his hands were tied. “I understand they may have been the aggressor in the situation, but you’d probably do the same thing if a stranger were milling around your living quarters all the time. And what’s the point in going tit for tat? Now, I don’t agree with the stinging, and I will be talking to them about that, but you have to admit to your part in things, too. I saw on the security camera that you were waving your arms around pretty violently when they swarmed you.” Morton went on to warn the tenant this was strike two, citing a previous incident in which the resident had accused a toilet of being clogged. 

The post Landlord Takes Hornets’ Side appeared first on The Onion.

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