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Home/Satire - The Onion/Barefoot Ed Sheeran Introduces Sock Puppets That Will Open For Him On Tour

Barefoot Ed Sheeran Introduces Sock Puppets That Will Open For Him On Tour

September 17, 2026

PHILADELPHIA—Shambling barefoot into a press conference to promote his next show, English artist Ed Sheeran introduced reporters Thursday to the sock puppets he had booked to open for him on his stadium tour. “This is, uh, Jimmy and his songwriting partner, Freddie,” said the 35-year-old musician, who confirmed the white cotton duo would take the stage before him at all 10 remaining dates on his North American Loop Tour. “I discovered these young up-and-comers in my dressing room late, late, late last night and decided they deserved a chance to shine. They are sensational and so excited to be opening for me. I think they’re all anyone is going to be talking about. I couldn’t be happier.” At press time, Sheeran had gasped after one of the sock puppets squeaked “Free Palestine!” into the microphone.

The post Barefoot Ed Sheeran Introduces Sock Puppets That Will Open For Him On Tour appeared first on The Onion.

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