McConnell’s Return Gives Kentucky Two Brain-dead Senators
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The long-awaited return of Mitch McConnell to Congress on Monday marked the first time in months that the state of Kentucky has enjoyed the attendance of two brain-dead senators.
In addition to his fellow Kentuckian, McConnell was applauded by other members of the Republican Party’s brain-dead caucus, including Ron Johnson and Tommy Tuberville.
Although the caucus took a hit earlier this year with the departure of Markwayne Mullin, McConnell did receive a warm greeting from the newest insentient senator, Darline Graham of South Carolina.
“From all indications, Mitch McConnell has no idea what’s going on around him,” Senator Graham said. “He’s my role model.”
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