Pharmacists Recommend Having Three Months’ Worth of Meds From Other, Imaginary Pharmacy Where They Let You Do That
LOS ANGELES — Pharmacists in the state of California have made a sweeping recommendation to have three months’ worth of medications, but to be sure to get them from other, imaginary pharmacies where they actually let you do that, sources confirmed.
“Any responsible adult will know to have three months’ worth of medications to prepare for things like shortages, travel, and unexpected events like natural disasters, but definitely don’t try getting that many months’ worth of your meds at any of our pharmacies, idiot,” shared Jessica Mayo, a representative from the California State Board of Pharmacy. “I’m actually going to be pissed if you try. I’m going to take it personally. What do you take me for? But I will judge you if you don’t find a way, too.”
Reactions rolled in from many disabled, chronically ill, and otherwise medicated Californians.
“I am constantly advised to have a stockpile of my medications,” shared Laura Woodward. “Except every time I ask my pharmacist about it, she calls me a drug-seeking heathen. And I’m only asking for a 90-day supply of cholesterol meds and immunosuppressants. I’ve personally never had much luck bringing these to parties for cool points, but maybe the pharmacists are seeing something I’m not. I’ll definitely keep trying to find this imaginary pharmacy I keep hearing about, though. It sounds dope.”
Notable philosopher Sam Shaw shared a unique perspective on this seemingly impossible dilemma
“It’s what I call Schrödinger’s Pharmacy: a pharmacy where you can do what your doctor has advised indeed exists, until you put the address into Google Maps,” said Shaw. “Doctors aren’t always great about keeping up with cutting-edge research, so they might not have read my blog post about it. I bet a lot of them are still unwittingly advising the impossible. It’s similar to how doctors tell you that in order to relieve pain, you have to lose weight, but it’s impossible to lose weight if you’re in too much pain to move. But also just real quick, I have a question about what pharmacies these people are going to because, like, I’ve never had trouble getting a fuck ton of weed from my dispensary.”
As a compromise, pharmacists are working on a system where you can actually pick up your meds the day you run out, and rumor has it they are even considering not yelling at you for missing the couple doses they couldn’t fill in time.
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