Americans Traveling Abroad Attempt Canadian Accents
DERBY LINE, VERMONT (The Borowitz Report)—In unprecedented numbers, Americans planning travel overseas are enrolling in a crash course to learn Canadian accents, a Canadian accent instructor revealed on Thusday.
Harland Dorrinson, who operates Canadafication Coaching Services on the US-Canada border, said he has been turning away thousands of people who are desperate to sound Canadian while abroad.
“I’m only accepting clients who are willing to put in the work,” he said. “If you think you can speak Canadian just by ending every sentence with ‘eh,’ you’re wasting my time and yours.”
Dorrinson also trains his clients to appear “culturally Canadian,” which, he warns, “involves more than pretending to enjoy hockey.”
“I force my clients to watch hours and hours of curling,” he said. “No pain, no gain, eh?”
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