Lindsey Graham’s Sister Promises to Learn Where Iran Is
SOUTH CAROLINA (The Borowitz Report)—At a campaign rally on Monday, Lindsey Graham’s sister Darline promised the people of South Carolina “to learn where Iran is.”
“As I said during my debate earlier this month, I’m no expert when it comes to foreign affairs,” she said. “But, as God is my witness, if you elect me for a full term in the US Senate, I will google Iran.”
“I’ve been told it’s a country that’s been in the news a lot lately,” she added. “I also plan to start watching the news.”
Graham acknowledged that “there are a lot of doubters out there who think I can’t learn this stuff,” but vowed, “I promise to become as well-informed as my fellow Republican senators like Ron Johnson and Tommy Tuberville.”
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