Nation Collectively Agrees Spelling Yanoplis Right Not Worth The Google 

NEW ORLEANS — Millions of texts, emails, and DMs were misspelled over the weekend as the entire nation collectively decided that looking up the correct spelling of Milo Yanapopolis, the far-right influencer bizarrely arrested by ICE last Friday, was absolutely not worth it.  

“Yo, remember that guy about Milo Yanapolis? *Yanapalis,” said every electronic communication regarding the breaking news curiosity. “Yannna – whatever, you know who I mean, the gay Nazi pedo dude? I’m not gonna look up how to spell his name, he’s a piece of crap, who cares, but he got detained by ICE, isn’t that wild?! I guess even a broken fascist clock is right twice a day, amiright?”

Message receipts show that even our nation’s most fastidious and militant fact-checkers and grammar nazis could not possibly be bothered to look this information up. 

“No no no, you’re thinking of Anthony Scaramucci, the former Goldman Sachs banker who was briefly appointed White House Communications Director in 2017,” replied Arthur Belt, a known ‘well actually’ guy correcting a friend via text. “ICE arrested Millo Yanochavo… Yana… Manachevtiz? Ugh, I don’t know, and I’m not gonna look this one up, but you know who I mean- that guy, the really weird, crazy one. Anyway, fuck ICE, but this is pretty funny, right? 

Yanaponapolis was a prominent far-right influencer during the 2016 election cycle, who lost clout after making comments suggesting that relationships between grown men and young teen boys could be considered consensual. 

We asked Belt to explain his uncharacteristic flippancy in this matter. 

“Sure, I could easily use google to look up the correct spelling of Mr. Yanappollises’s name, but that’s just time I could spend doing more productive things, like watching Reacher ironically. You know, that action show on Amazon starring Alan Ritchson? That’s Alan with one ‘n’, make sure you get it right.” 

At press time, we still haven’t fucking looked it up. 

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