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Home/Satire - The Onion/Only Memory Child Has Of $6,000 Vacation   Throwing Up In Car

Only Memory Child Has Of $6,000 Vacation   Throwing Up In Car

November 9, 2026

FITCHBURG, WI—Stating that he could not recall Cocoa Beach, an airboat tour of the Everglades, or breakfast with Chip ’n’ Dale at the Garden Grill Restaurant, local seventh grader Caleb May told reporters Thursday that the only memory he had of the $6,000 vacation he took with his family in 2019 was throwing up in the car. “The rental car was green and Dad was really mad,” said the 13-year-old May, who when asked about the family trip his parents had spent two years saving for recounted in crystal clear detail how he had tried to reach for a Wendy’s bag, but his seatbelt had locked up, forcing him to vomit all over the cup holders. “My stomach was hurting really bad out of nowhere, and then it just happened. I remember Dad was yelling because he didn’t want to stop the car again, and Mom was yelling at Dad because we didn’t have any paper towels. The car smelled awful, so we rolled the windows down even though we were on the highway. Then they gave me a pill to make sure I didn’t throw up again, but I threw that up too.” Reached for comment, the teenager’s indignant parents reported that even his younger sister Piper remembered going down a waterslide, and she had only been 4 at the time.

The post Only Memory Child Has Of $6,000 Vacation   Throwing Up In Car appeared first on The Onion.

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