New Generation Clarifies They’re Fine Not Having Own ‘Cat In The Hat’

WASHINGTON—Explaining they had no deep-seated desire to “discover” the Dr. Seuss character, a new generation of moviegoers told reporters Friday that, actually, they were fine not having their own Cat In The Hat film. “No thanks, we’re all good,” said new generation spokesperson Isaiah Ashworth, representing a contingent of millions of consumers born too recently to be familiar with the 2003 film of the same name. “We’re not sure where studio executives got the impression that a new Cat In The Hat was something they needed to bring to us. It’s a bit presumptuous, no? But hey, give it a few years, and maybe you can try rebooting The Boxcar Children again.” At press time, sources confirmed a whole new generation had been dragged to theaters to see the film by their exhausted stepmoms.

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