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Home/Satire - The Borrowitz Report/Hegseth Haiku Contest Finalists!
Hegseth Haiku Contest Finalists!

Hegseth Haiku Contest Finalists!

October 17, 2026
Updated on October 18, 2026

Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Last Sunday, TBR published The Private Haiku Journal of Pete Hegseth after the Secretary of Defensiveness accidentally texted it to us.

Since then, TBR subscribers have flooded us with entries to our Hegseth Haiku Contest. Now it’s up to you, dear reader, to choose the winner!

Read the following Hegseth haikus and vote for your favorite:


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