Trump Seeks to Avoid Losing in Texas by Returning it to Mexico

October 12, 2026

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Fearing a humiliating midterm defeat in Texas, on Monday a desperate Donald J. Trump attempted to return the state to Mexico.

Amid news that Texas would no longer be a part of the US, spontaneous celebrations broke out on the streets of Austin.

Meanwhile, the populations of Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, and New Mexico demanded that a new border wall be built to keep Texans out of their states, “and make Texas pay for it,” they said.

In Mexico, President Claudia Sheinbaum said she would accept the return of Texas “as long as it doesn’t include Paxton and Abbott.”