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Home/Satire - The Onion/Tips For Starting Your Own Business

Tips For Starting Your Own Business

August 10, 2026

Experts say becoming an entrepreneur is possible with the right combination of capital, networking, knowledge, and mentorship. The Onion shares tips for starting your own business.

Figure out what people want, and taint it with AI.

Ensure you have enough savings to survive for the six days until you give up.

Make a detailed business plan that covers at least two sides of a napkin.

Have your parents start a wildly successful business first.

Identify a donut-based problem or need in your community.

People like dogs, right? So…maybe something with dogs?

Add your company name to the Shaq celebrity endorsement sign-up sheet.

Try your luck in the New World, where gold piles up in the gutters when the washerwomen tire of it.

The post Tips For Starting Your Own Business appeared first on The Onion.

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