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Home/Satire - The Onion/Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries
Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries

Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries

October 1, 2026

Six Flags Magic Mountain permanently closed its famous X2 roller coaster due to a history of riders incurring brain injuries, with some resulting in death. What do you think?

“You try selling a $27 fountain soda to someone with full cognitive function.”

Laura Jessup, Decal Applier


“Can’t they just ride it backwards to reverse the damage?”

Joshua Tozi, Mouse Breeder


“Too many or not enough?”

Vince Sherburne, Assistant Docent

The post Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries appeared first on The Onion.

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