Report: More Americans Abandoning Lengthy Conversations In Favor Of One Really Big Word

PHILADELPHIA—Suggesting that the nation was increasingly prioritizing speed and efficiency in speaking, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that more Americans are abandoning lengthy conversations in favor of one really big word. “Our extensive surveys across race, age, and gender demographics reveal that most Americans would rather just say ‘kakorrhaphiophobia’ or ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’ than engage in a prolonged back-and-forth with a friend or family member,” said lead author Brandon Morse, explaining that the average syllable count of spoken words had risen 64% in the same period the average word count of spoken exchanges had significantly decreased. “Overall, we’re seeing a lot less ‘Hey, how are you?’ and a lot more ‘floccinaucinihilipilification.’ The pattern is especially strong with married couples, who report saying ‘electroencephalographically’ to each other more than six times a week and not much else.” Morse added that while the trend was just starting to gain traction in America, it had already taken off in Germany decades ago.

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